


All Lost Things Have a Way of Coming Back

by ChessieFlack



Category: Star Trek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:19:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2796113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChessieFlack/pseuds/ChessieFlack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the midst of a brutal war, the klingons decide to attack Jim directly. Picking up on his biggest weakness. Leonard McCoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Lost Things Have a Way of Coming Back

Jim sulked back to his quarters, for the third time that week, he'd gone to see the ship's councillor for advice on his obsession with his CMO, and for the third time that week she'd told him to get over himself, and Bones would never like him back. Well, not in so many words, but that was the general gist of the conversation. He was filling in his personal log and sighed, he knew it was pointless, he'd been chasing after Bones since the academy, and every time he'd tried to start something, Bones had shot him down, saying he only did monogamous relationships, and refused to believe that Jim was mature enough to be in one. Which was totally unfair. Of course, Jim sleeping with half of Starfleet to try and forget about his obsession, didn't really help him gain McCoy's trust. But Jim had let Bones believe he was over his crush, for almost two years now. He still flirted, be then he flirted with everyone, so that didn't really count, but he hadn't tried anything, and Bones was firmly under the impression his school boy crush was no longer a problem. Which was completely wrong, of course but Jim preferred to let McCoy believe that.   
Besides, they both had bigger things to deal with now. Starfleet was at war with the Klingons, and the Enterprise was on the front line. As Jim finished his personal log the red light flashed and the klaxon sounded, and Jim sprinted to the bridg, to be met by his first officer on the way.  
“They have launched another attack on the outer defences, Captain, the Roosevelt has had to return to Earth, it is too badly damaged to continue, and we have three Klingon warbirds which had just decloaked on our rear, starboard and port side”   
Jim walked on to the the bridge and instantly started issuing orders   
“power to the rear and side shields, load phasers, and fire directly under the wing of each war bird, lets try and weaken their shields”   
The ship shook as they were hit by a volley from all sides. Jim swore as he was almost thrown from his chair, and his first officer nearly landed on him.   
“Fire!”   
Jim yelled, realising his crew were awaiting his order to attack. At first, nothing seemed to happen, the war birds stayed strong, evidently, their shields had been reinforced since they had last launched an attack.  
“Captain, I would advise we request assistance from another starship.”  
Jim went to agree before he was interrupted by Uhura.  
“Captain, we have got pleas from fifteen starships, all trying to hold this sector, all being attacked by three Klingon warbirds, with superior shielding”  
“Shit” was Jim's first instinct, but he thought about it for a moment, evidently the Klingons were trying to attack them as individual ships, knowing that as a whole, the klingons couldn't beat them. They had to separate the starships out, and defeat them individually, and this was their attempt. And Jim would die before he let it work. His mind reeled, trying t come up with a solution, unsure if the other captains had realised what was happening to the fleet. Jim's mind didn't linger on that problem for long, he knew he needed to. He came up with a plan, and before it was completely formed in his mind, he was saying it out loud.   
“Regroup!” Jim yelled suddenly “We need to attack as one force, get all the starships, together, now! One group! Back to back!” Jim explained his plan in more detail to his communications officer, and she nodded.   
They were hit very and over again, damage report coming in from all decks, and medbay reporting numerous injuries, and some fatalities, which certainly did not help Jim's panicked mood.   
Uhura relayed his message to the other captains, none of whom had understood why they should regroup, or waned to take orders from the youngest, and least experienced captain among them.   
So Jim explained the conclusion he had come to, and openly asked them not to be stuck up arse holes, and listen to him, which of course did not go down well, and caused more complaints to erupt from the other captains. Three ships moved to group around the central Enterprise, which wasn't easy, the klingons did all they could to stop them, so as they regrouped, their shields had been weakened eve more. Slowly, as the other captains saw they had no choice, they limped across the space, to join the other ships. They had formed a circle (on Jim's instruction) all facing outwards, so that they could direct their power to their forward facing shields and weapons, rather than being concerned about protecting their backs. And it worked, as they joined together, some flying above and below the others, to keep protected, they managed to create an almost impregnable mass of phaser fire and shields, wiping out the forty eight warbirds which had surrounded them.  
Jim breathed a sigh of relief, and the sound of cheering echoed across the comms, from the other ships, some captains even compliments the young captain on his ingenuity, which, in spite of everything, made him smile.  
Jim instantly commed medbay, to check if on the injured, which of course was the only reason to call them, checking his best friend was okay was not at all the reason he called medbay.   
“What? If that goddamn idiot of a captain has got himself killed, it's his own bloody fault for turning this bloody ship into target practise”   
Jim relaxed at the sound of the annoyed southern drawl.  
“Just checking in, Bones”  
“well, I have better things to do than answer your social calls... I'll report later when I have filled in the accident reports” he sounded less malicious, almost relieved, and it made Jim have to fight back a smile.  
“Okay”   
Jim hung up and looked around his tired bridge “Take a break, but be ready to come back at a moments notice.”  
They nodded and walked out, looking tired and stressed, Jim followed them, leaving his Vulcan first officer on the bridge. Of course, there was no way Jim was going back to his quarters to sleep, e headed straight to engineering to help with the repairs, and within minutes he was in a jefferies tube, covered in oil, reaching around a sharp piece of metal, with Scotty behind him, fix something else.   
He fell from the his perch and felt something crunch in his knee, followed by a searing pain, which brought tears to his eyes. He bit his lip so he didn't cry out, screwing his eyes up in agony.  
“captain?” Scotty's thick accent sounded concerned, and when Jim opened his eyes, he was confronted by a nervous looking engineer.  
“Sir? Maybe y' should go t' medbay?”  
Jim shook his head and forced himself to ignore the pain, as best he could. He looked around the open room and took in the mess his ship was in.  
“no, we need to continue with repairs”  
He forced himself into standing, and within minutes he was balanced precariously on a beam, his injured leg hanging beneath him, concentrating on fixing a tube, which would hopefully, restore some power to their shields. Six hours later, there was a spark and a cry of delight from Scotty as several more lights came on.  
“well done, Captain, she'll be ship-shape before you know it” he grinned   
Jim nodded and smiled, before looking for something else to do, he jumped down from the beam he was sat on, and landed firmly on his injured knee, and this time he didn't restrain, he screamed as his vision went black, and he passed out from the pain.  
He woke up to the strong smell of disinfectant, and groaned, knowing that Bones would never let him return to work.  
“Ah, look who's returned to the land of the living”  
“Shut up, Bones” Jim groaned, his entire body felt bruised, and his knee throbbed. That fall must have hurt him more than he had first thought.  
“What the hell did you think you were doing?! You were in a goddamn firefight, and two hinutes lates you were hanging from the bloody ceiling, with a shatter knee cap!”  
“As much as I love you, Bonesy, I'm gonna have to leave you...” He pushed himself up, and blinked away the black dots that suddenly clouded his vision.   
“the hell you are! The second you leave here, you'll been crawling through some other part of the ship, and breaking more bones, and frankly, I have enough to cope with, without you being a reckless fool. You're staying here, until I say otherwise, so no flirting your way out of it this time”  
Jim groaned and flopped backward onto the pillows.  
“I have a job to do, you know that? At least give me a PADD?”  
“No, you need rest, and I'm not just talking lying down, proper sleep, I know you haven't slept for more the three hours since this bloody was began, so either you lie down and sleep, or I will sedate you”  
Bones picked up the hypo and threatened him with it, and Jim instantly closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He really tried, not just because of the threat of the hypo, but he knew Bones was right, he needed to sleep, how could be he be a captain if he couldn't sleep more than three hours at a time, because he'd wake up, panicking he hadn't done something, and not be able to get back to sleep. But now, his mind reeled with the million things he had to do, there was no way he could fall asleep. McCoy saw he wasn't sleeping, and like the loving, caring physician he was, he jabbed Jim in the neck with a strong sedative and before Jim could protest, his eyes closed, and he was deeply asleep.  
Thee sedative didn't stop him dreaming, and the image of his friend, who he so wished was more than that, drifted in front of his closed eyelids. He had had the dream before, he'd been having it since the academy, but not so much recently, more recently is dreams had been plagued with scenes from the war, death, and pain. It was a relief to sink back into the familiar comfort of the dream. It wasn't inappropriate, it was one of the few times that Jim thought of McCoy, and it was appropriate. They were just together, happy, and together. Sometimes Bones' daughter was there, Joanna. She was there in this dream. Jim had met her once, she was only nine, but she already had the McCoy eye-roll down to a tee, and she reminded Jim of Bones, a lot. They were a family, Jim had never really thought of himself having a kid, the job came first, and besides, his parents weren't exactly great, so Jim was terrified he's mess up, like his mother, or die, like his father, so children hadn't ever really been a genuine desire. Except in the dream, everything was perfect in the dream, he and Bones were good parents, Jo was happy, and Jim still had the Enterprise. He wished he never had to wake up, he wished it was his life, but he knew it never could be, no matter how much he wanted it to be.   
When he finally woke up, to the smell of disinfectant once again and he groaned slightly, he didn't feel nearly as bad as he had, but the remnants of the far off dream still lingered in his mind. The sedative Bone had given him must have had some pain killers in it. He looked around medbay for his friend, but saw it was almost empty, there were just a few patients, all unconscious.   
He must have been asleep for a while, Bones was good, but the amount of patients that had been there when he had woken up the first time, even Bones and his army of nurses couldn't have fixed them all in under a day. He needed to get back to thee bridge, he needed to do his job, but when he tried to move, his knee flared up in pain,, it wasn't nearly as painful as it was when he had done t, Bones had obviously used the regenerator on it, but it still hurt for up to a week after, especially considering how badly he had hurt his knee. He looked to the beside table and there was a PADD and a hand written note from his best friend.  
{Don't work too hard, okay? And you better still be in bed when I get back, or I will give you every vaccination in the book, including the ones you're allergic to, just so I can hypo you again. I won't be gone long. -LHM}  
Jim smiled at the note and picked up his PADD, eager to be of some use. He read through thee hundreds of messages he'd got, mainly from the admiralty, some condemning his instance in taking control of the entire fleet, others congratulating him on his success. E read through everyone of them, and replied where it was necessary. The next thing he did was check the system reports on his ship, she seemed to be doing much better, Scotty's repairs were coming along well, and they would have full power in under a day. That information put the young captain in a good mood, but he knew he would have to check the fatalities of the attack, so he bit his lip, and read Bones' report. Deaths were going to happen, he knew that, there was no denying it, when they were in the middle of a full blooded war. But Jim still hated it, still blamed himself, he if had done something differently, maybe they wouldn't have died, the mother of two who worked in engineering, wouldn't be leaving behind a family, and they eighteen year old ensign wouldn't be leaving a childhood sweetheart, who he was supposed to be marrying when they got home, behind. It made Jim sick as he read through the report, reading up on their families. As always, he phoned every single bereaved family, and spoke to those effected in person. He apologised, and some said he should be sorry, and were furious that he had lost their loved one, that didn't hurt the most. When they confirmed his fear, and proved to him it was his fault he had lost another crew member, because they were just confirming something he already knew. Some said he didn't need to apologise, and said he was a wonderful captain, they weren't easy, by any means, he had to deflect their compliments and still sound respectful, which shouldn't have been hard but he had to remember these were grieving families, and there was always a subtle undertone, of why our child, our mother, or our father, or our friend, husband, wife, and it hurt Jim, because he wished they would say what they wanted to, instead of skirting around the subject. He worst, by far, were those who said nothing, or very little, and just cried. They would weakly thank him for taking tie to call them, but when they broke down, he had no idea how to make the feel better. He couldn't say it was going to be okay, because he knew it wasn't, he couldn't say that he knew how they felt, he had never known his father, before he had died. So he had to listen to them apologise, and insist it was okay, until they hung up the phone, sometimes it would last for hours, and the call would end, and Jim would have tears rolling down his cheeks. Yes, they were the worst.   
When all his work was done, Jim finally got round to filling in his personal log, opened it, and froze. All of his logs had recently been opened, and not by him. It had been hacked, and his first thought was to find out who by. Fortunately, it wasn't difficult for Jim to find out who it was, he was an excellent hacker himself, and knew how to find who had hacked him. What was most unfortunate, was who had hacked him. The Klingons. There was no doubt as Jim found who had entered his system, not only did it fit with previous hacks by the klingons, but it also was in their language, it was as if they wanted him to know it was them, to know that he wasn't safe. To know that they could get to him, easily. The person who was responsible for the destruction of most of their fleet, he wasn't safe. Jim's first thought was the people who he had mentioned in his log. Bones, Sam, his mother, he'd mention Frank, but to be honest, the Klingons could have him, in fact, Jim would have given them his address, if it wouldn't have put his mother in danger too. None of them were safe, and it made Jim feel sick that they were in danger because of him. He'd have to tell them that it was his fault, their lives were at risk, because he had been too stupid to cheek his personal log was securely locked.   
He quickly filed a report to Starfleet command, listing the names he had mentioned, and insisting they were given some protection. No matter what happened to him, that was his problem, but if his family, his friends got hurt, he refused to let it happen, and would call on anyone to help keep them safe. Jim had just sent the report to Starfleet when McCoy walked in.  
“How you feeling, Jim?”  
“Shit, my personal log's been hacked”  
“What?!”  
“The Klingons... don't worry, I made sure extra precautions are going to be taken to protect the people I mentioned, I won't let them hurt anyone, and you have to be careful, you were mentioned more than once”  
“shit, Jim, that's... Well... Shit”  
Jim nodded and put his head back on his pillow and groaned   
“I am such an idiot, I should have made sure it couldn't be hacked, or at least thought about what I put in it” Jim ran his hand through his hair.  
“Jim, you couldn't have known.” McCoy smiled down at him, supportively, and Jim smiled back, seeing Bones smile always brought a smile to his face.  
“Anyway, you can go home now” McCoy held out Jim's clean uniform, not so neatly folded by the doctor. Jim took it and smiled.  
“Thanks, Bones”  
McCoy left so his friend could get dressed, not that Jim would have minded changing in front of him, he'd proved that much at the academy, but Bones didn't think it was the best idea, considering he was already combating feelings for the stupid captain, watching him get changed would not end well.  
Jim was back on the bridge within half an hour of being discharged, he had showered first, and read the reply from Starfleet, who had assured him the people he mentioned would be protected. On the bridge, Jim was able to relax, he knew the ship was safe, and didn't need to rely on anyone to tell him if anything had happened, it would be reported straight to him, and considering they were in the middle of a war, Jim was far more relaxed about everything. His knee was still throbbing, but with the distraction of work, he barely noticed it.  
And for three weeks, life was relatively calm aboard the Enterprise, the Klingons were still rebuilding their fleet, they knew they were safe for at least a while. But to say it was the calm before the storm, was an understatement. A storm wasn't coming, a full blown hurricane was about t teaar its way through Jim's life.  
It had been a quiet Sunday when it happened, Jim had been on the bridge, and he had received a blunt message from Starfleet command.

Captain James T. Kirk  
Please inform Lieutenant Commander Leonard H. McCoy, that on Saturday 5th September, 2264, his daughter, Joanna E. McCoy was killed following a Klingon raid in her home town. She was the only fatality.

Jim's knees weakened, no, this could not be happening! Starfleet was supposed to protect her, she was on his list, she was supposed to get extra protection. Bones would never forgive him, hell he'd never forgive himself. He collapsed in his chair and the PADD had fallen to the floor, cracking across the middle of the message. The entire bridge jumped at the sound and turn to face their distraught captain, who was staring blankly out into space. She had been so young, Jim remembered her grin, her rosy cheeks, and how proud she'd been of her father when he had told her that it had been the Enterprise had saved the Earth. The little girl would never smile again, and neither would his best friend. The news would kill Bones, he would never get over it, his daughter was the light of his life, it was the only time Jim ever saw Bones really smile, was when he talked about Jo, or spoke to her. Jim knew his friend would never recover, he'd probably want to leave the ship, and Jim wouldn't stop him, he'd probably never want to talk to the man who had killed his daughter again, and Jim would understand, he's hate it, but he'd understand.  
Uhura had picked up the broken PADD and read the message, and her mouth was in a perfect 'o' as she put a hand on her captain's shoulder, there was nothing she could even try to save which could possibly make this easier for him. They stayed like that for a while, tears tracking down Jim's cheeks, and threatening to drip over the lieutenant's eyelids. They were both jerked back to attention when McCoy walked onto the bridge. He looked at them both, instantly concerned, he turned to his best friend.   
“Jim?”  
Jim stood up, when he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion.  
“W-we need to talk”   
“Jim, what's going on? You're scaring me”  
He led his friend off the bridge, and neither of them spoke until they got to Jim's quarters.   
“Jim, tell me, what's happened”  
“Bones, I'm so so sorry, there was nothing they could do. I-I can arrange for you to leave the ship instantly...”   
“Jim, tell me what the hell is going on! Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as bad as-”  
“Bones, it's Jo...”  
Jim's voice was barely above a whisper, but McCoy heard him just fine. His face fell, and his eyes hardened.  
“What about her..?”  
“There was a raid... She, she didn't make it.”  
Bones kept shaking his head and turned away, refusing to believe it was true.  
“Don't joke, that's a sadistic joke”  
“I'm not joking Bones, I'm so sorry”  
Bones' face changed as he realised something.  
“Just a random raid on small town in Georgia? The Klingons are never that precise. She was in your log. She was killed because of you!”   
Bones rounded on his friend and Jim quivered under her glare.  
“I want off this fucking ship! Any from you!” Bones stared at Jim.  
Why her? You fucking bastard! You could have mentioned anyone! You got my daughter killed! This is your fucking fault!”   
Jim said nothing, and took the onslaught, tears on his cheeks.  
“Why did they attack her?! Didn't you think she was important enough to be protected like everyone else?! They hacked your log to get to you! Why her?!”   
Bones was distraught, covering it up with his anger.  
“Th-they wanted to weaken me”  
“She's not your bloody weakness! She means nothing to you! They wanted to weaken you, why didn't they go for your brother, or you mother! Someone who was a real weakness to you!”  
“They aren't my weakness, Bones” Jim's voice never got above a whisper.  
“Then who is?! Because it sure as hell isn't my daughter!”  
“It's you, Bones... You're my weakness” As Bones had yelled, Jim had realised what the Klingons had done.  
“Me?! Because of that stupid school boy crush you had on me in the academy?! What the fuck?!”  
“No, because you're my best friend, and I love you... They took her, to get to you... Because they knew I couldn't run the Enterprise without you” Jim spoke quietly, his voice didn't sound like his as he listened to it.  
“You what?! You'll have to! Because there is no way I am staying in the stupid floating tin can with you! And now is not the time to tell me that! It has just got my daughter killed!” his voice broke, and his next words were choked out whispers.  
“My baby girl” Bones walked out of the captain's quarters without another word, and two doors down, into his own, leaving Jim to stare after him. Jim wasn't stupid, he knew that he shouldn't follow him, no matter how much he wanted to.   
With shaking hands Jim picked up his PADD, to fill in McCoy's transfer back to Earth, and he got a call from Starfleet command, and was faced with a very serious looking admiral. Jim tried to wipe away the tears which had stained his face but the admiral ignored them, and instantly started to talk about Jo, and how they could turn the tides back into their favour. They knew exactly how badly it had effected them. The conversation ended when Jim through his PADD across the room and it shattered, it was the second PADD he had broken that day, but Jim was so outraged at how insensitive the admiral had been about the grieving McCoys, he couldn't bear to continue the conversation, the conversation had ended befre the admrial had been able to explain what their plan had been. His communicator beeped and he received a message, explaining a shuttle would be arriving within the next forty eight hours, with everything he would need inside, and if he still wanted to, McCoy could return home in the shuttle.  
Jim had been relieved of duty until the shuttle arrived, as he had been deemed emotionally compromised, by Spock, which Jim couldn't argue with. By the end of the first day, the entire crew knew that Jo had been killed, and knew they effect it was having on Jim and McCoy, what they didn't know about, was the guilt which was eating Jim alive. Neither Jim or McCoy had seen each other, since Jim had told him what had happened, and it made Jim feel ore and more empt everyday. He needed his best friend, and he knew his best friend should have needed him, but he also knew that he would never get his best friend back because he had crossed a line he could never return from.   
People had died as a direct result f his decisions before, but it had never been like this. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the cute little girl grinning at him, when they'd first met. He remembered the pride she's spoken about her father's past, and all the people he had saved, and how wonderful he was, he had agreed, and replied with her father's heroics on the Enterprise, Bones had blushed, and Jim had laughed at him, noting how cute Bones was when he blushed. The memory would always be a happy one. But now it was tainted. Knowing he'd never see the little grinning face, or the adorable blush which had washed over Bones' face. Because he had ruined his best friend's life, no, not his best friend, not anymore, he had ruined his ex-CMO's life, which was a million times harder to say. Jim thought about Bones, and wondered how he was trying to cope.  
Bones wasn't coping, he was on his third bottle of whiskey, hoping that maybe he would drown in the alcohol. His daughter was never going to greet him when he got home, he was going to see her grin and run into his arms when he beamed down from this god forsaken tin can. Just thinking about it, made it hard to breath, he collapsed onto his sofa and gasped for breath, tears once again streaming down his cheeks. He had never felt like this before, not even when his father had died. This was unexplainable pain, no matter how much he drank, it would never go away. Grief was going to eat him alive, he would never escape. As he lay on the floor of his quarters, he just wanted to die and join her, and all this pain would just go away. Then his mind drifted to his bloody captain, and that just made it a million times worse. Jim was supposed to make everything better, he always had before this, he could count of Jim. Of course he'd fucked up in the past, but he had made it up to him. McCoy wasn't exactly perfect, he knew that, so he'd always forgiven his friend. But not this time. Yeah, it wasn't exactly Jim's fault, it wasn't like he had known his log would be hacked, but Jim was supposed to ensure that the people he had mentioned were safe, and that was obviously bullshit. Because his baby girl, the one person he had ever truly loved, the only thing he'd felt proud of, was gone, because the bloody blonde haired, blue eyed idiot who had been given a gold shirt years before he should have been hadn't cared enough, to make sure his little girl was safe. Grief spilled over again, and McCoy found himself sobbing on his bedroom floor, again.  
His mind remembered his stupid excuse. 'you're my weakness' 'I love you', the stupid kid had been so meek when he had said it, so apologetic, and under any other circumstances he would have pulled him into his arms and kissed him, like he had wanted to for over a year, and tell him that he loved him too. But not now, now all he wanted to do was punch him until he was a bloodied mess on the floor. Because it was his bloody fault he would never see his daughter again. And knowing that, that his daughter was gone and it was Jim's fault, was the more painful than the doctor had imagined was possible.   
Two days, he was stuck on this ship for another two days, until a shuttle could be sent to collect him, and it felt like a life time. Curled up in his quarters, crying himself to sleep as he lay there.  
Jim was sat in his quarters, wondering what to do, he wished he could have worked, something to take his mind off what had happened, but there was no way Spock would even let him near the bridge, not in this state. He almost had a heart attack when his comm beeped, informing him to o to the shuttle bay, the shuttle had arrived.   
Bones was going home.   
That shouldn't have been what was going through his mind, he hadn't even seen McCoy since, it had happened, but just knowing he was close, was better than knowing he would never see him again. His feet carried him to the shuttle bay, and he stood, waiting for the shuttle to unload.  
When he saw what was supposed to keep the war in their favour, his knees buckled, and several personal caught him and took him to a chair. There was nothing he could say, as the small, nine year old girl, her eyes as inquisitive as ever, looking around the ship, came over to him.   
“Uncle Jim?”  
Jim couldn't reply, he could barely breath. This couldn't be possible, she couldn't be alive, why would Starfleet lie to him, how could they put Bones through this? How was that even close to being okay? Did this mean that Bones was going to stay? That everything was going to be okay?  
“Uncle Jim, where's Daddy?”  
Jim choked out a reply.   
“J-Jo?”  
“Did they not tell you I was alive?” she had obviously been told the reason, because she looked shocked when Jim shook his head.  
“The klingons came to get me... I don't know why, but they did, but Starfleet saved me. The klingons think they killed me, and everyone had to think that, so they would come and get me again. But I'm here, because they wouldn't think to get me here. Can I see my daddy now, Uncle Jim? He'll be sad if he thinks I'm dead...”  
Jim just stared at her, barely comprehending what she said, but he stood up and she took his hand, as he lead her through the Enterprise, to the CMO's quarters. He knocked with a shaking hand, and got no reply. He hadn't been expecting one, but when Jo spoke, the door couldn't have opened quick enough.  
“Daddy?”  
Bones opened the door and Bones almost collapsed, only saved by Jim catching him as his knees buckled.  
“Daddy?” Jo repeated and walked forward. Bones pulled her into the tightest hug she'd ever had, and Jim left the father and daughter to revel in their reunion, considering Bones hadn't even registered he was there.   
“I-I was told you were dead” Jo explained what had really happened, knowing she'd have to explain it to most of the ship.   
Bones had never been more angry with Starfleet, all his anger for Jim had gone, replaced with almost all-consuming anger for the federation, but he tried not to be too angry, and just enjoy holding his daughter again, something e never thought he would be able to do again. She hugged him tightly, before letting go.  
“Daddy? Can we not stand in the doorway?” he laughed and stood up lifting his daughter into his arms as he carried her over to his small kitchen.  
“Are you hungry, Little One?”  
She nodded and smiled, as her father replicated her a cupcake, ignoring his usual health concerns, and just wanted to spoil her.  
“So, do you know how long you'll be here for?”  
“Until it's safe to go back to Mummy, but I want to stay here, with you, always”  
“It's not safe to always live with me, I'm sorry”  
She pouted and ate her cake  
“not fair, want you home, miss you lots” That made McCoy smile and and he ruffled her hair slightly.  
“I miss you too, Jo, and I wish you could stay, but it's against regulation, plus, Mummy won custody, I'm not allowed to keep you”  
“But Starfleet sent me here, so they don't mind about regulation, and I can ask Mummy to let me stay with you, if I asked nicely..”  
“We'll see, okay?”  
“no, we'll see means no. that's not fair, want to live with you all the time.”  
“it's not safe, Jo, and I don't want to put you in danger.”  
“Your best friend it the biggest enemy of the klingons, they tried to kill me, I'm not safe on Earth... here you and Uncle Jim can keep me safe.”  
“We can't all the time, Jo, you know that..”  
“Don't care”  
“I do.” she sighed and rolled her eyes.  
“Please, Daddy, please?”  
“No, it's not safe, I'm not risking your life any more than it needs to be, if I had known joing Starfleet could have hurt you, I wouldn't have done it.”  
“But I want to. Can't I make my own decisions?”  
“You're nine, Jo, no, you can't”  
She pouted and finished her cake, putting the case in the bin.  
“Bet Uncle Jim would let me.”  
“Well I haven't spoken to him for a few days”  
“Why not?”  
“I thought you were dead... If you were, it would have been his fault.”  
“Because his log was hacked, and he spoke about me? Starfleet told me” she added, seeing McCoy's confused face.  
“Not really his fault, Daddy, he didn't know they would find out, did you shout at him?” He nodded.  
“That's bad, told me you loved him, don't shout at the people you love”  
“Jo, I thought he was responsible for your death, I hated him.”  
“Never really loved him then”  
“What?”  
“Can't stop loving someone so quickly, do you love him now?” she watched her father run his hand through his hair, and nod slightly.  
“then you didn't hate him, just was cross”  
“how come your so knowledgable on this?”  
“Mummy made me watch rubbish girly films.” That made McCoy laugh, and Jo pouted again.  
“Not my fault, Mummy said girls should like them”  
“And you don't?” she shook her head.  
“What do you like then?”  
“Promise you won't tell Mummy?” McCoy nodded, slightly suspiciously.   
“When Mummy thinks I'm at netball, I go to the flight sim' club, I wanna be a pilot when I grow up” McCoy blinked, that was not what he had been expecting.  
“Mummy says it isn't what girls should want to do, and it isn't safe, but I like it”  
“That what you want to stay on the Enterprise?”  
“Not the only reason, I want to stay with you too” McCoy sighed.  
“We can talk about this later, okay?”Jo nodded and smiled.  
“Can I meet the rest of your crew now?”  
McCoy nodded and smiled, taking her hand and leading her out, he led her to the bridge, knowing Jim was off duty, so he wouldn't be there. Uhura and Spock came over to introduce themselves, and McCoy explained why his daughter was alive, despite everyone being told she was dead. He thought he would never leave the bridge when Jo started talking to Sulu and Chekov. They were infatuated with the adorable nine year old, who knew a shocking amount about how to fly a starship, McCoy was fascinated just listening to her, he had never heard her talk about something with so much passion, he had never known how much it had mean to her, or how intelligent she was. Watching her, he realised how much of her life he had missed, and he wished he had won custody, more than ever. McCoy started to talk to Uhura, and before they knew it, the had been on the bridge for over an hour, and Jo was still chatting away to the navigator and pilot, and had somehow ended up in Sulu's chair, being told how to fly the ship, McCoy was unsure if he should be proud, or terrified, the idea of his daughter in Starfleet was terrifying, but, she was doing and excellent job, and the two men who flew the ship seemed to be impressed with her knowledge and skill. She was telling them how she was top in her class, and really wanted to work in Starfleet. McCoy stepped in when the men offered her practical experience, promising to let her actually fly the ships, which McCoy was less than okay with.  
“Um, Jo, I think it's time to go home”  
“But-”  
“She eez no problem, Doctor, we do not mind” Chekov's rich accent was followed by a hopeful smile from all three of them.  
“You can come back later, okay?” she sighed and got off Sulu's chair and went over to her father, not realising her father's insistence had a lot to do with Jim's shift about to start, and he didn't want to have to talk to him, certainly not on the bridge. Jo was herded of the bridge by her father, who led her home. She was talking excitedly about everything she had learnt, and about how jealous all her friends would be when they heard she had had real experience on a real starship, the Enterprise no less. When she finally stopped they were back at McCoy's apartment, and was already assking about dinner, barely taking a breath, she was very excited.  
“Do you want to eat here, or at the mess with everyone?”  
“Mess! Want to meet everyone” her enthusiasm made McCoy grin.  
“Will Uncle Jim be in the mess?”  
“No, he's working”  
“When are you going to talk to him?”  
“Who said I was going to talk to him?”  
“I do. When does his shift end?”  
“Jo... It's complicated..”  
“Why? Do you love him?”  
“yes”  
“does he love you?” McCoy thought about what Jim had said, just after he had told him his daughter was dead.  
“Yes”  
“Then how is it complicated?”  
“Because we're friends, what if it went wrong, I don't want to lose him as a friend” It felt weird talking about this with his nine year old.  
“Why would it go wrong?” To that, McCoy had no reply.  
“I'll talk to him later, that okay?”  
“Pinky promise?” She raise her little finger, and McCoy entwined his finger with hers, promising to talk to Jim.  
“Can we have dinner now?” McCoy nodded and led her to the mess.  
Dinner seemed to go too quickly, he tuned out of the crew obsessing over Jo, who was lapping up the compliments, and tried to think about what he would say to Jim, but they had both finished their meals before he had got passed 'hello'.  
Jo skipped home, and unsuccessfully hid a yawn.  
“It's late, Jo, you should go to bed”  
“where will I sleep?”  
“You can have my bed, I'll sleep on the couch” Jo nodded and flounced off to clean her teeth and get ready for bed, the bag she had brought was still on the sofa, and McCoy gave it to her. She was ready for bed too quickly, and Jim's shift was nearing the end, and McCoy was getting more and more nervous. He told her a story, and as he turned out the light she called out to him.  
“Talk to Uncle Jim, remember”  
He smiled and promised he would, and said goodnight, and went to find his friend.  
Jim's shift had just finished, and he had just settle down in his quarters with a drink, after changing into normal, more comfortable, clothes, usually Bones would have been with him, but today, he felt lonely, missing his friend's company. He was staring at his wall , not really sure what he wanted to do, he wanted to speak to Bones, to apologise, and get his friend back, but he had no idea Bones would even speak to him, he'd barely acknowledged him when he had brought Jo to him. Granted, he had just seen the daughter he thought was dead, but, he had pretended Jim wasn't even there, he must still be angry with him, maybe they could talk once Jo had gone home, maybe they could be friends again when this had all died down. But would it die down? Would they ever be able to go back? He was jerked from his thoughts when his door chimed; it had made him jump, and he swore when he realised he'd spilt good quality whisky down his front, and pulled off his top, to get a fresh one.  
“Come in”  
The door swished open, and Bones stood there.  
He had walked into his friends quarters, to see a Jim Kirk, shirtless, his muscles rippling under his skin as he tried to clean out the whiskey, before it stained, McCoy swallowed as he instantly felt his blood drain to his crotch, and tried to cover the slight bulge in his trousers, with a relaxed hand.  
“Hi” Jim jerked up from what he was doing at the southern drawl, blushed, glancing down at his bare chest.  
“Hey, Bones, why are you here?”  
“Can't I just talk to my friend?” Jim cast his eyes skyward, knowing that Bones had to have other reasons to come and visit him.  
“Okay, fine, I wanted to tell you, I don't blame you, for Starfleet tell me Jo was dead, or if she was, I know it's not your fault” Bones spoke quickly, all in one breath.  
“Oh, okay, well, thanks” Jim smiled, wondering if Bones had forgotten that he had confessed his undying love for him, and he wasn't sure if he wanted him to or not.  
“And about what you said...” Okay, maybe he hadn't forgotten.  
“When?”  
“Jim, you know what I'm talking about, when you told me that you were in love with me.” Both men blushed, Jim more so.  
“Oh, well, er, I, just forget that”  
“I thought it was just a crush”  
“Er, yeah, you can go with that” Bones sighed and looked at him, of course, they were men, they didn't talk about feelings, of course this was going to be awkward, very awkward.   
“Jim, I, um, well”  
“just forget it, Bones, I get it, don't wo-” He was interrupted by Bones lips on his, and it was everything he had ever imagined it being, and more. His lips were soft, but the kiss definitely had a feeling of urgency to it, and Jim's lips followed them as he pulled away, before the captain realised what he was doing.  
“Jim, I, sorry”  
“Just, shut up” Jim kissed him again, putting as much love and desire as he could into it. He quickly parted his lips, as Bones' tongue flickered along his lip, asking for entrance. As their breath mingled, Bones' hands rested on Jim's hips and Jim wrapped his arms around his friend's neck, hold him close. The doctor's hand slid down the younger man's hips, and Jim noted how large his hands were, holding a buttock in each, he pressed their hips together, which elicited a moan from deep in Jim's throat, feeling the other man's growing erection.   
Jim ran his hand under Bones' top, tugging at it, breaking the kiss for a second, just to get the tp over his head. Bones' top had hardly hit the floor, before the doctor was working at his captain's flies, and pushing his trousers down, and only once his trousers were around his ankles, and his boxers were obviously tented, when he realised they were still stood by his door.  
“Bed?” he gasped against his lips as he stepped out of the trousers, guiding his new lover to the bed, who fell back onto it, as his knees his the edge of the bed, with Jim landing on top of him, both moaning as their erections slid together. Jim worked off Bones' trousers with a clear desperation, grinding against him, desperate for some friction. Jim remembered noting how skilled Bones' was with his tongue, he was the best kisser Jim had experienced, and he had kissed more than his fair share of people in his time. Jim moaned loudly as Bones put his hand into Jim's boxers, and started fisting him. Jim knew if his friend didn't stop, he was going to climax embarrassingly fast, and he didn't want Bones to think he had the stamina of a horny teenager.   
“I-if you don't stop, I'm gonna come right now” that made Bones smirk, as he pushed down Jim's boxers, allowing his erection to spring free, and stand proud between them. Jim pushed down Bones, gasping quietly as his huge erection stood throbbing and red, yeah, Jim had seen him naked before, living together at the academy had ensure that, but he had never seen it like this, with tiny beads of precum leaking from the tip. Took it in his hand, and gently began to stroke him, long and slow strokes causing Bones to buck into his hand, and moan like a porn star.   
“Want you” Jim had never heard Bones so desperate, so needy before.  
“How?” Jim wanted this to be for Bones, he wanted to have what he wanted, exactly how he wanted it.  
“You, in me” Bones' sentences were getting less coherent as he kissed Jim with more vigour, moaning when Jim pulled away to get lube. He reached into his top drawer beside his bed, and smirked, moving between Bones' legs, Bones looked hungrily at him, parting his legs wider in invitation.   
Jim squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, and traced his index finger around Bones entrance, teasing more desperate and breathy moans from his lover.  
“J-Jim, please” Jim obliged, pushing his finger, slick with lube, into his friend, whose hips bucked and he cried out in ecstasy. Jim moved his finger in and out, stretching him slowly, not wanting to hurt him. Once he was ready, Jim added another finger, this time finding Bone's prostate, causing Bones to making a sound which was beyond sinful. He tried to find the spot again, and managed to hit it as many times as he missed. Jim remained slow, stretching him carefully, no matter how much Bones begged him to speed up. Jim kept gently fisting Bones' length with his other hand, leaving his own, throbbing and untouched, he hoped Bones' realised what he was doing for him. When he was eventually ready, Bones was a mewling wreck on the bed, and Jim slipped out his fingers, and admired the man on his bed. Bones was completely undone, and was begging for Jim, feeling empty without his fingers.  
Jim reached for the lube again, and slicked his length, making sure it was completely covered, before he pushed Bones' knees to his chest, and admired him stretched out beneath him as he lined himself up.   
“Please, Jim, please” Bones begged, all coherent words lost as Jim slowly pushed into him, and his mouth parted in a silent moan. Jim inched his way in slowly, concentrating on not coming immediately, and paused, waiting for Bones' to adjust before he moved.  
“Fuck, Bones, so tight”  
“Fuck, Jim, move” Bones begged and Jim willingly complied. He pulled out, almost completely before slamming back into him, hitting his prostate directly, and he cried out in complete ecstasy.  
“JimJimJimJimJimJimJim” he was completely incapable of saying anything but moaning his name over and over again.   
Jim slowly sped up, thrusting harder and faster into his mewling friend, as he begged him for more, Jim gripped his hips hard, knowing he would be leaving bruises beneath his fingers. His movements became for erratic, and Bones' moans became more breathy, and jagged, he could feel his release building in the pit of his stomach. The two men came simultaneously, memorising the look on each other's faces. Jim cried out Bones' name, his eyes wide and his pupils fully dilated; Bones was silent as he came, his mouth parted, mouthing Jim's name, his face a picture of complete bliss. Jim filled him up with hot spurts as Bones covered their stomachs in his release.   
Jim collapsed onto his chest and breathed heavily as he slipped out of Bones' body. And they lay like that, basking in the afterglow, listening to their breaths slowly return to normal. Jim, unsurprisingly was the first to speak.  
“Fuck, Bones, I, fuck” as eloquent as ever.  
“Shit, Jim” They looked at each other and Jim pressed a kiss to his lips, and smiled.  
“This might be a bit soon, but... Is this us?” Bones kissed him gently.  
“Yes, Jim, this is us. But I want you to promise, if this goes tits up, we never go to less than we were before.” Jim nodded, and sealed the deal with a kiss, and smiled at.  
They lay there, for a bit, before they fell asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms.   
They were awoken by Jim's alarm the next morning, and Jim groaned and rolled out of bed to shower, leaving his new lover curled up, still coming round, early mornings were not McCoy's thing, he checked the time and groaned, before swearing, he had completely forgotten his daughter was asleep in his quarters. He stood up, needing a shower, but Jim was in there, and decided, that, considering what had happened last igt, Jim wouldn't mind them showering together and went into the bathroom, to see a smirking Jim.  
“Miss me?”  
“Shut it, kid, I need a shower, and you're taking too long” he stepped in, there was barely enough room for the two of them, but they made it work, and fifteen minutes later McCoy was stepping out of the shower, thoroughly kissed and wrapping himself in a towel, leaving Jim still in the shower. He dried himself, and dropped the towel, and searched for his clothes around the room. When he was finally dressed, Jim was still in the shower and Bones waited for him.   
When he stepped out, completely naked his muscles glistening, still damp, McCoy blushed and looked away, feeling his blood go south. Jim smirked, and made a show of bending over, and sticking his arse in the air and McCoy rolled his eyes.  
“I'm going to see my daughter, I'll see you on the bridge later?” He got up to leave and Jim went over to him quickly.  
“Don't I get a goodbye kiss?” McCoy grinned and kissed him deeply, and, before they knew it, he was pressed against the wall, with Jim's tongue fucking his mouth, god, he would never get tired of this. When they eventually pulled away, McCoy smirked, and kissed him quickly before leaving to find his daughter, glancing back at Jim as he left.  
He found his daughter still asleep and smiled, kissing her cheek as he made himself breakfast, and got some ready for Jo. She woke up, and wandered over to her father.  
“Hey, Daddy”  
“Hey, Little One” she smiled and made herself breakfast and looked at him.  
“Did you speak to Uncle Jim?” He grinned, they hadn't done much speaking.  
“Yes, and we're friends again.”  
“Is he your boyfriend?” McCoy nodded and she squealed with delight.  
“Will you get married? Will he be my new Dad? Will I get a brother or sister?”  
“Whoa, Jo, we started dating last night, we're not talking about getting married, or children for that matter.” she sighed and hugged him, grinning.

*

The war didn't last much longer, the Klingon fleet were defeated, and sent back to their space with their tails between their legs.  
Jim and Bones had followed Jo's advice, a year, to the day, after peace was announced, they tied the knot, with the crew and Jo as witnesses, and the two men were almost inseparable. And probably due to Jim pulling some strings, Jocelyn, Jo, McCoy and Jim attended a custody hearing, and by some miracle, the two men won. After new safety regulations (courtesy of Scotty, with a lot of input from McCoy and Jim) were put in place. With a lot of sweet talking with the admirals, Jo was allowed to live on board the Enterprise with her two dads, in Jim's larger quarters, but of course, they kept McCoy's quarters, for the regular night they needed 'time to themselves'. For the first time in either of their lives, the two men were completely happy.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked it ad you didn't find it too unlikely, and the characters were too OOC. Please kudos and comment if you liked it, or have any suggested improvements.


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